Guess who’s back…
Published by Warrior Tang October 29th, 2004 in World…back again…
Osama’s back.
Tell a friend.
Osama Been Hidin’ just put out a new video and it’s hittin’ the top of the charts! Everybody’s talking about it, and America’s number one Total Request Live is for Terrorist Recluse Dead.
Osama has a lot of stuff to say to us, and we have a lot of stuff to say to him, like if you’re gonna launch any more suicide attacks, lead by example. So he says that despite all that supporting the Taliban and being an evil murderous bastard stuff, he doesn’t hate freedom because he didn’t attack Sweden. Hey Osama, you didn’t attack Swaziland or Palau either, but that doesn’t make you less evil, just less resourceful and less bored.
Next he tries to apologize for Sep11, saying he didn’t really mean to destroy the World Trade Center towers. He just wanted to kill a lot of innocent people. Hey Osama, could you please do us a favour and stand in that big concentric circle and wait for the cruise missile and oh no, we didn’t intend to kill you, only to introduce you to a whole new world of pain!
I don’t know whether to be comforted or saddened that the world’s worst terrorist mastermind has the argumentation skills of a four year old.
As he goes on, Osama tries to present himself as a man of peace leading a liberal freedom movement. It worked for Yasser Arafat. Maybe now we’ll see the UN establish an international holiday of solidarity with the al-Qaeda people, and later on the UN will pass a resolution condemning itself for retaliating after Osama blows up the UN building. I doubt it.
The tape is said to be 18 minutes long, so there may be more to it than what we’ve got so far or maybe Osama is a slow speaker. The mention of Kerry by name places the tape’s production within the past year. Republicans are spinning the tape as an endorsement of Kerry by Osama, which it isn’t, while Democrats are pointing out that it means Osama is still breathing, which it looks like he is. One thing’s for sure: this got al-Qaaqa and the White House’s all-caca denials out of the headlines.
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